Thoughts of Suicide

Having experienced thoughts of suicide as a struggling mom, at the age of twenty-nine, here are my thoughts now twice that age, a grandmother at the age of fifty-eight. 

If you know someone who is, or appears to be depressed, be a warm body. Just be there. Job’s friends sat on the ground for seven days and seven nights. "No one said a word to him because they saw how great his suffering was.”

Listen. Don’t talk. Pray for discernment as to when.

There’s a difference between wanting to die and not wanting to live. Most people struggling with depression just want to get away from the pain and don’t know how; I did.

“Suicide is not chosen; it happens when pain exceeds resources for coping with pain."  http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/

You can be around someone every day and still not know what’s going on in his head. It’s not your fault you didn't know. 

You cannot help a person if YOU don’t know they have a problem. You cannot help another person if HE doesn't know he has a problem. You cannot help a person who WON'T ADMIT he has a problem. 

You are not responsible for another person’s actions. You cannot control another human being.

You cannot make someone talk. If someone believes depression is a sign of weakness she will be ashamed to share her depressed thinking. She probably doesn't know she’s depressed, but knowing, doesn't solve the problem either. It only begins the process of knowing.

You cannot hear another person’s mental chatter. Mental chatter to a depressed individual is his reality. Mental chatter takes a problem and only escalates it.

Realizing a thought is just a thought is impossible for a depressed individual. He simply cannot comprehend it. The fact that memory is a simple, harmless thought passing through your mind is simply incomprehensible.

The mind can assume anything. Some people have a relationship with their minds. The mind never leaves but people do.

The rational mind that helps us cope, if irrational, is the very thing that would help us cope but cannot, because of its irrational thinking. Hence the inability to make wise decisions. This is the reason anti-depressants are so helpful. They do not change a person's thinking. They change the chemistry of the brain that controls thinking. 

Be patient. Healing is a slow process for a troubled individual. Nudge, but don’t push.

If suicide occurs, remember her life and not just her death.

Please read the book "No Time To Say Goodbye" Surviving the Death of A Loved One by Carla Fine. It comes from someone who's been there and experienced it.

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